Animal Ethics and Morality

Candlelight for Two

Imagine the scene: candlelight flickers in the softly lit dining room of your favorite romantic restaurant. Seated opposite you, just beyond a bottle of the finest Italian wine, is the person that has propelled your stomach into somersaults for the last two weeks. You feel yourself tumbling into that heady feeling of lust, as every word your dining partner utters seems both amusing and profound. In unison, you both raise a glass, toasting the future and whatever it may bring. . . .

That amazing angel of light sitting across from you flashes you a huge, loving smile when—wait a minute!—you notice something. What the hell is that?! Stuck between the glistening white teeth of that smile you have loved for all of two weeks, you spy evidence you wish you hadn’t: a tiny piece of meat is staring at you as a grim, grinning reminder of the one thing you had chosen to ignore so far.

Your date eats dead animals, and you do not.

The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name

It’s a cold, hard fact that veggies are in the minority (for the moment!), so before you even start to wonder if a gorgeous, loving veggie is into you, you have to find one. The quest is not so bad if you live in large cosmopolitan city like New York or London, where you may have many veggies with whom to socialize and connect.

But what about folks in smaller town, where tofu may not be on the tip of anyone’s tongue and Seitan is someone clad in red horns, pitchfork and a tail? For something that is clearly the only way to ensure other living beings do not suffer, veganism is still relatively rare. But this reality is slowly changing, and if we are to expand our numbers and ensure that the humane choice also becomes the popular choice, then maybe reaching out to non-veggies isn’t such a sin after all.

Spread the Seed of Thought

I have read that Ingrid Newkirk, founder and president of PeTA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals), forbade veggie employees to date one another and requested that they instead go out into the world and date people from the dark side (read, meat-eaters) and bring them to the light.

Whether this story is true or not, I have to say I like the point of it. You love whom you love, and if that’s another veggie, great! You are lucky, indeed. But to dismiss other people on the grounds of their present choices may not be doing the cause or yourself any favors. I have never had a serious relationship with a vegetarian or vegan, but what I have found is that the meat-eaters I have dated have, on the whole, respected my choices and either cut back or completely cut out meat and animal products from their own diet.

It doesn’t take an intelligent person long to discover that an animal-free diet is a healthier one. The benefits of vegan diet are too numerous to cover here, but, just as your cholesterol levels drop, your dating partner’s enthusiasm for the cause may rise.

The More, The Merrier

I believe that a veggie who dates/lives with/marries a meat-eater who then reduces or eliminates animal products from his or her diet is doing double-duty on the animal care front. I have a Viva (Vegetarian International Voice for Animals) T-shirt somewhere that tells me how many animals lives have been saved by me being veggie. I’d like to add to that tally, by proxy, all those animal lives that have been saved because someone listened to what I had to say and took action, too.

Of course, there will always be people who will not agree with you—nor even meet you a quarter of the way. They will take great delight in waving a steak-laden fork in your face and taunt, “I bet you’d love to eat this, really.” Such a partner is undesirable, not just because of his or her eating habits, but because he or she blatantly disrespects you and your beliefs, and that situation spells doom for any relationship.

A Happy Ending

As vegetarians or vegans, we have to hope that those with whom we fall in love will share our views or at least be willing to understand and incorporate them into their lives, too. If they don’t, and we decide to wait for that compassionate veggie who shares our deep love and respect for all species, then all the better. But if we wish to follow this latter path, it may require relocation, a whole lotta online match-making, and perhaps even a hearty, helping hand from that little guy with the bow and arrows.

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Sally-Anne Ryan is a British artist and writer who uses her work to highlight the plight of animals all over the world. She happily shares her home with three failed show dogs, two rescued dogs, and ten former battery chickens.